You gotta stop saving people. It doesn't work. You already know this. What does? Helping people save themselves. How?
↓ Look down here! ↓
No, You're Not a Superhero
There's a trend going on with people who get into Self-Empowerment.
"Let's go save people!" said everyone who ever helped themselves.
No! No! No! Don't. Stop. Wait. Fuck it, fine, go! You'll figure it out.
But first, let me try to save you! ;)
Here's my attempt at Heroism - a HandUp.
No, You Don't Want to Be a Superhero
The job is overrated. Think about it.
1.) You Can't Save Everyone.
Oh wait, here it comes: "But I can save as many people as possible, Shou!"
Fine, I'll bite. (But I bite hard!)
Let's say you do that. You save everyone around you that you see needs help. What begins to happen? You dis-empower them. They become reliant upon you. And then when the moment comes when they need saving again and you aren't there, they lose. And if they survive that loss, they'll blame you. They will guilt you into always being there. You can't. They will take you for granted and you will be used, abused and stepped on.
(I told you, I bite hard)
And fairly so. I mean, you did decide to judge whether or not those people needed saving in the first place, no? Mostly, this is the case, we don't even wait for that person to say the words: "I need saving!"
We just assume they do and for a very selfish reason.
It makes us feel Powerful, Needed, and Worthy. This isn't saving people, this is us trying to save ourselves from our own self-hatred. Ooo, deep huh? Let it bleed, the poison needs to get out.
Most of the time anyways, people will say: "I need help." This is much different from asking to be saved, but we interpret it as: "SAVE ME! I"M INFERIOR AND YOUR SUPERIOR, SO IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY."
This is how selfish we get. And the more we act upon it, the more we Train people into actually believing this, whether they want to or not.
The Person Who Needs Saving is You
"But I've been saved, Shou - that's why I'm trying to save others! To give back! To say thank you to my savior(s)."
How Were You Saved?
Did Superman or Superwoman come out of nowhere and save you? I highly doubt it. Or did they? Did a surgeon save your life? Did a firefighter? A police officer? Maybe just some random person on the street? If so, have appreciation for them - but let's get real, that's not 100% reliable.
- Trigger Warning! -
This Next Bit is Not for Victim Mindsets.
How did you get in that situation you needed saving from in the first place?
I'd be willing to bet it was a consequence of some crazy extreme action you were taking. Any extreme thought that's led to action, will trigger consequences that match it.
See it yet?
You get yourself into every Good AND Shitty situation in your life based upon what you think and the actions you take (or do not take) influenced and directed by those thoughts. You're pretty damn powerful. And it's the fact that you don't know your power or how to harness it, that's got you stuck.
The only thing you need saving from:
Save Yourself, Save Others
The only person that can save you, is you. Your improvement and betterment in your thoughts, beliefs and actions is the only thing that will create better outcomes for you. Nobody outside of you can make you change this behavior.
Not unless YOU allow them to. Which then again, it goes back to YOU.
Loving yourself more and finding more Balance in Your Life, that is how you save yourself. It's also how you save others.
We are all apart of a Whole and Everybody Affects Everybody.
It's like Peeing in the Pool.
If You Pee in One Part of the Pool, You Pee in All of the Pool.
Stop Peeing in the Pool.
Or in other words, Save Yourself and You Automatically Save Others.
HandOut or HandUp?
People only learn from others by Example.
So Be That Example.
Show them How to Do It.
Think of Dancing. Think of Singing. Think of Cooking.
We watch others do it and we try to imitate them.
And if you want to get involved, great! But only if they want your help. And as long as you don't do it for them. Show them the example and encourage them to follow. Maybe correct their form for a second and then let them have the reins again.
Give Them a HAND UP, Not a HAND OUT.
People might need a little help to take the next step UP. But it never serves anyone to give them help to get OUT of growing.
When Growth Stops, so does life. Can you think of a world with no plants, food or adults? It would be a barren mass of babies without growth.
And that includes Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, etc.
All areas of growth.
(Click Link, Scroll Down for Areas P.I.E. Chart)
What Can I Do Now?
What do I do if Someone Needs Help?
Ask Yourself these Questions:
1.) What Are they Asking for?
- A HandUp or HandOut? -
2.) Do I Know What to Do?
- Can I Actually Give them a HandUp? -
3.) Am I Letting them Engage in the Help?
- Am I Guiding them or Doing it for them? -
4.) Am I Asking for HandUps or HandOuts?
- Sometimes we Give what we Want. -
Thanks for reading everyone, and even more, thanks for Saving Yourself.
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