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If the Piece Doesn't Fit, Don't Force it! - It Will Break!

11/12/2018

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Let's face it, we've all tried Forcing Mismatching Puzzle Pieces together. And we think it works - but something's always off: The Finished Picture.
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Relationships.   Career Choices.   The Foods You Eat.

Are they Compatible with You?



If you're not getting closer to What You Want in Life.

Incompatibility is probably why.




The Many Pieces of Life:


Life is a Puzzle.

And that shouldn't be seen as a Mystery ...
( Please get that joke *cough* )
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To Better Explain,

Life is One Big Picture - it has many pieces that make it Whole.


Like Puzzle Pieces,

All Things throughout Life have Natural Compatibilities as well as Incompatibilities.


It's just how things are made.

Somethings Fit Together and Somethings Don't.


From Material Items to Living Entities, this is true for All Things.


-

And yes,

That includes us Humans.

The Purpose of the Puzzle:


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The Purpose of the Puzzle is to have a Harmonious and Fully-Portrayed Picture or Product at the end.

A Working Picture, A Successful Production.

If Even 1 Piece is Mismatched, the Purpose isn't Fulfilled.

+

The difference is so vast that it's actually more desired to have a Missing Piece, rather than have a Mismatched One.
Pause & Think about it:
Would You Rather be Temporarily In-Complete
or Misrepresented and Falsified?

Matching Pieces Builds Greatness!


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House Builders have to make sure that their materials and parts are compatible, otherwise issues arise.


A Fire Could Occur because of Incompatible Insulation ...
Incompatible Wiring Could Cause a Fire ...
Jet Fuel Heating Gas Could Cause a Fire ...



Do You See it Yet?

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INCOMPATIBILITIES CAUSE FIRES!
( Oh god, what is with me on this post? xD )

Anyways!


The Final Product will be Faulty.
Pause & Think about it:
Would You Want to Live in the House Described Above?

This is true for anything you build;
Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually, etc.
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But if You Choose the Right Parts ...
If You Choose Matching, Aligned Parts ...
If You Choose Compatible Pieces ...



You Will Build Something Great! - A Working Whole!

Computers Wouldn't Function without the Exact, Aligned Parts.

Neither would a Phone, a Drink, a Fertilizer ...

This is the Importance of Alignment.

The Human Adaptability:


However,

The Challenge We Face as Humans is our Greatest Strength: Adaptability.
This has caused many of us to believe that we can 'Force Parts Together' or even more so, that we can Change Ourselves to Make the Parts Fit.

Be Wary of this.

Yes, Humans have the ability to change.
Yes, Humans do change enough where parts that were incompatible with them before, are compatible with them now.

However, where it gets dangerous is when we Choose to Change out of Fear, rather than Joy.


Why?

Because when we Change out of Fear, we Throw Away Ourselves Easily.
Our Foundation, Our Roots, Our Core Needs.

When we do that, we actually cannot Truly Change.
You see, Change only works properly when it is tied to Growth.

Change & Growth are Two Parts of a Whole.
You can't have one without the other.


Growth is About Building.
Know Yourself, so You can Build Upon Yourself.


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Yea boi, tree limbs and roots bro!


You cannot Grow if You Don't Accept Yourself as You Are Now.


You can Change into Anything You Desire, but You Must Know Where to Start.

You Must Know Your Foundation, Your Roots, Your Core Needs.

Once you know these, you can Nurture Yourself and Provide What You Need to Grow and to Grow Easily.

(Look at the Tree Picture! Feed the Roots and You Grow Branches!)

The Pieces Break:


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By now, you probably understand the Importance of Alignment.

Even so, it's important to emphasize the Consequences of 'Forcing a Fit'.

The Pieces Break.
The Pieces Malfunction.
The Pieces Die.


If you Water a Plant with Motor Oil, an Incompatible Liquid for the Plant, the Plant is Damaged. Furthermore, this Damage causes it to Malfunction. Ultimately, the Plant is Pushed Towards Death.

Why is this?

Motor Oil Blocks an Enzyme Plants Need to Live.
Motor Oil also Drains Minerals/Nutrients from Plants and the Water Surrounding them.
Conclusion:

Motor Oil & Plants do not have a Symbiotic Relationship.
They do not help each other Thrive.
One Takes too Much from the Other.

Motor Oil is Meant to be Consumed by Vehicles.
Plants are Meant to Live for Various Reasons.

When Two Things are Forced Together with Incompatible Purposes, this is what Naturally Occurs.

The Last But Crucial Part:


This Truth in Life Applies to All Things.

Where Compatibility is Important is in all Major Areas of Your Life.

Make the Decision to Choose Things that are Compatible with
WHO YOU ARE and YOUR PURPOSE.

Know Yourself so You May Know What You Need!



This Includes:
Relationships (Friendships/Family/Partnerships)
Foods You Eat
Careers You Pursue

All Things You Engage In

↓

Seek Harmony & Symbiosis!
Alignment is Necessary for Your Thrival!

Stop Just Surviving & Start Thriving!



Thanks for Reading Everyone,
Much Truthful Love,
Shou

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If this Blog Post Moved You
and You Really Would Like to Know Yourself on a Core Level (this goes really fucking deep guys) I've created a FREE Program that will Guide You Through this Exploration.

There is No Catch, I just love to help!
:)

Go Here!

SurvivingIntoThriving.com
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Stop Giving Handouts, Give Hand Ups!

10/3/2018

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You gotta stop saving people. It doesn't work. You already know this. What does? Helping people save themselves. How?

↓ Look down here! ↓

No, You're Not a Superhero


There's a trend going on with people who get into Self-Empowerment.
"Let's go save people!" said everyone who ever helped themselves.

No! No! No! Don't. Stop. Wait. Fuck it, fine, go! You'll figure it out.

But first, let me try to save you! ;)
Here's my attempt at Heroism - a HandUp.

No, You Don't Want to Be a Superhero


The job is overrated. Think about it.
1.) You Can't Save Everyone.

Oh wait, here it comes: "But I can save as many people as possible, Shou!"
Fine, I'll bite. (But I bite hard!)

Let's say you do that. You save everyone around you that you see needs help. What begins to happen? You dis-empower them. They become reliant upon you. And then when the moment comes when they need saving again and you aren't there, they lose. And if they survive that loss, they'll blame you. They will guilt you into always being there. You can't. They will take you for granted and you will be used, abused and stepped on.

(I told you, I bite hard)
*CHOMP*

And fairly so. I mean, you did decide to judge whether or not those people needed saving in the first place, no? Mostly, this is the case, we don't even wait for that person to say the words: "I need saving!"

We just assume they do and for a very selfish reason.

It makes us feel Powerful, Needed, and Worthy. This isn't saving people, this is us trying to save ourselves from our own self-hatred. Ooo, deep huh? Let it bleed, the poison needs to get out.

Most of the time anyways, people will say: "I need help." This is much different from asking to be saved, but we interpret it as: "SAVE ME! I"M INFERIOR AND YOUR SUPERIOR, SO IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY."

This is how selfish we get. And the more we act upon it, the more we Train people into actually believing this, whether they want to or not.
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Yeah, he's pointing at You.

The Person Who Needs Saving is You


"But I've been saved, Shou - that's why I'm trying to save others! To give back! To say thank you to my savior(s)."

Uh-huh.

How Were You Saved?
Did Superman or Superwoman come out of nowhere and save you? I highly doubt it. Or did they? Did a surgeon save your life? Did a firefighter? A police officer? Maybe just some random person on the street? If so, have appreciation for them - but let's get real, that's not 100% reliable.

- Trigger Warning! -
This Next Bit is Not for Victim Mindsets.


How did you get in that situation you needed saving from in the first place?
I'd be willing to bet it was a consequence of some crazy extreme action you were taking. Any extreme thought that's led to action, will trigger consequences that match it.

Extreme
consequences.

Consequence
Heart Disease
Broken Leg
Unhealthy Relationship

All of the Above
Thought/Action
Extreme Diet/Lifestyle Choices
Extreme Lack of Caress/Flow
Extreme Self-Hatred

Extreme Lack of Self-Care

See it yet?


You get yourself into every Good AND Shitty situation in your life based upon what you think and the actions you take (or do not take) influenced and directed by those thoughts. You're pretty damn powerful. And it's the fact that you don't know your power or how to harness it, that's got you stuck.

The only thing you need saving from:
is You.

Save Yourself, Save Others


The only person that can save you, is you. Your improvement and betterment in your thoughts, beliefs and actions is the only thing that will create better outcomes for you. Nobody outside of you can make you change this behavior.

Not unless YOU allow them to. Which then again, it goes back to YOU.

Loving yourself more and finding more Balance in Your Life, that is how you save yourself. It's also how you save others.


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We are all apart of a Whole and Everybody Affects Everybody.

It's like Peeing in the Pool.
If You Pee in One Part of the Pool, You Pee in All of the Pool.


Stop Peeing in the Pool.

Or in other words, Save Yourself and You Automatically Save Others.

HandOut or HandUp?


People only learn from others by Example.

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So Be That Example.

↓

Show them How to Do It.

Think of Dancing. Think of Singing. Think of Cooking.
We watch others do it and we try to imitate them.

And if you want to get involved, great! But only if they want your help. And as long as you don't do it for them. Show them the example and encourage them to follow. Maybe correct their form for a second and then let them have the reins again.




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Give Them a HAND UP, Not a HAND OUT.

People might need a little help to take the next step UP. But it never serves anyone to give them help to get OUT of growing.

When Growth Stops, so does life. Can you think of a world with no plants, food or adults? It would be a barren mass of babies without growth.

And that includes Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, etc.

All areas of growth.
(Click Link, Scroll Down for Areas P.I.E. Chart)

What Can I Do Now?


What do I do if Someone Needs Help?

Ask Yourself these Questions:

1.) What Are they Asking for?

- A HandUp or HandOut? -


2.) Do I Know What to Do?

- Can I Actually Give them a HandUp? -


3.) Am I Letting them Engage in the Help?

- Am I Guiding them or Doing it for them? -


↓

*Stretch Question:*


4.) Am I Asking for HandUps or HandOuts?

- Sometimes we Give what we Want. -


Thanks for reading everyone, and even more, thanks for Saving Yourself.

Much Love,
Shou

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SET THE BAR, Make Others Reach

9/28/2018

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Aren't you tired of the Low Standard? Do you want Excellence in Your Life? Start Setting the Bar. Place it at the Height YOU want it to be.

The Bar's Golden for a Reason


Here's a secret: Everywhere you go, someone is Setting the Bar.

And that Bar is Golden - What do I mean?

↓

Once the Bar is Set, Everyone Reaches for It.

It's a Golden Rule... or in this case, Bar.



What is the Bar?


It's the Standard of Behavior and Action in an Environment.

It's the Acceptable and Encouraged Behavior and Action in an Environment.

It is what sets the Tone of the Environment.


-> Imagine hitting the Bar with another piece of metal. <-
It makes a Tone.

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If Your Tone is Strong Enough, or If You Keep the Bar Set in Place, others cannot resist it's Influence.

The Tone Creates the Culture.

A Supportive Culture, creates Success for You.



Your Environment Makes You.


This one might sting. Yes, a lot of who you are is determined by You and what You want for your life. But the other side to that coin is true as well. A lot of who you are is also determined by the people around you.

Think of Music.

When you hear it, it's almost irresistible to Sing Along, Hum to the Tune or even Dance With it. Music has a Rhythm, or a Force that Moves You in a Direction.


The Emotional Tone of the Music is that Force.

An Irritated Tone Can Make You Irritated.
A Sad Tone Can Make You Sad.
A Happy Tone Can Make You Happy.

and

-> A Strong Tone Can Make You Strong! <-
(You see that was an example right there, I set the tone of the words above to express strength. The Bigger and Bolder Letters express Stronger Energy - Tone is Everywhere.)

People are constantly expressing a certain tone. Whether or not it is their conscious chosen tone or just one they picked up from their environment (or both), they are playing some music for you to hear.

And if you're not careful, you may just start dancing to it.



The Importance of Leaders


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Leaders are known for Setting the Bar towards a Desired Direction.

Leaders Set the Bar High.

Followers Set the Bar Low.



If you're not a Leader, you are a Follower. It's not bad to be a Follower. Actually, it's impossible to be a Leader without being a Follower.
One Coin, Two Sides.

However, it is important to understand that if you want to achieve your goals in life, you must start being a Leader for Yourself.

You must learn to Be Assertive and Start Setting the Bar Higher.


The only person who can speak for you, is you. Even a Leader outside of you cannot lead for you if they do not know of your desires.



Creating a Culture of Success


Have you ever had a Boss or Manager that just didn't know how to lead well?

They were Setting the Bar Low.
The Tone Created Bad Culture.
The Dance wasn't Fun.


↓

The Results Were Terrible



For a Successful Culture, it Requires a Successful Tone.
Good Music.
Proper Rhythm that Flows Well.


That Requires Someone or Something to Set the Bar.


Let that Someone be You!

Everyone wants Happiness and Contentment - So don't let the Environment you are in overwhelm you. Have a voice! Play your music!

Set the Bar!




How to Set the Bar High


The Golden Question for the Golden Bar.

How do You Set it High?

1.) Be the Example.

Be About the things that are Important to you.
- Talk about them & Take action on them. -

Express Your Truth and Your Feelings in a Respectful Way.
- Listen to Understand (Yourself & Others). -

Grow, Improve Yourself and Learn from Mistakes.
- Always Set the Bar a Little Higher. -


2.) Be In-Tolerable to Abuse

If someone is Setting the Bar Low, do not comply, respectfully.

Realize the Direction of the Tone and Express Your Preference for a Different One.

Start Expressing Your Preferred Tone. (Repeat #1.)

​---

They will either walk away, join you, or resist you. Do not force anything upon anyone, respect their Free-Will.

But Respect Your True Self As Well.
Respect Your Preferred Tone.
Be Strong but Gentle in Your Handlings with Others.



Also, Be Wary of Saving Others or Giving HandOuts instead of HandUps.
Knowing how to Help Others Properly can help you Set the Bar.


Thanks for Reading Everyone, and Thank You for Setting the Bar Higher.

Love you guys,
Shou



Can You Set the Bar Too High?
(My Story)


I used to Never Set the Bar. I didn't like being Assertive or Expressing my Desires. It always hurt me to do so. There was a lot of pain involved in being that way.

For me, being Assertive and Expressing my Desires meant I was being Selfish. It meant that I didn't care about other peoples desires or their feelings. And I wanted people to like me, so I just went with what others wanted, even if their Bar was Set Low.

Ultimately, this lead me to doing things and experiencing things that were out of alignment with who I really was. This caused a lot of internal pain and turmoil, alongside any physical repercussions I may have received. The feeling of doing something that just doesn't feel right to you, that you may even feel ashamed of or like you have betrayed yourself on a deep level is one I had to deal with a lot by Not Setting the Bar.

This is when I decided to Start Setting the Bar for myself. I learned that in many of my experiences in life, I was already setting the bar, just not for myself. I was setting the bar at the level I had seen others do it, or the level that I thought was the only level possible. At first I only set the bar a little bit higher than I knew. It was a small stretch but it began to work. I started to see improvement in my interactions with other people, as well as my own internal interactions. I started to Love Myself a little more.

Eventually, down the road, I got better at Setting the Bar Higher and Higher but I ended up hitting a Peak. Or at least, I thought so. I stopped Setting the Bar Higher because I believed that I had reached a level so high that people couldn't even come close to me. So for any possible chance of connection, I would have to again, Set the Bar Low. I did this for about 2 years. It got out of hand, so much so that I started to get really lazy and I started letting others Set the Bar. I started losing myself and becoming them. I was where I had started in the beginning, again.

I got to a point where a lot of things in my life just fell apart because I wasn't there to uphold them. I, myself, as an individual, was gone. And inconsequential, anything that was an extension of me, began to disappear as well.

This may sound like a very horrible and depressing thing, and it was. However, after going through it all, I ended up having nothing left to lose - and everything to gain. Like a Phoenix from the Ashes (hell yeah let's get dramatic here!), I rose. And even stronger than ever. It was as if the weight of all of that negativity in my life had conditioned me to be a better me. A me that could handle any Low Set Bar there was. It was as if I now had the strength to pick that bar up and Set it Even Higher.

So I began to stop caring about the fact that people may not be able to reach me if I set it super high. I had the memories and scars of what happens when you settle for the Low Bar. You get weak. It's like exercise, if you don't use it, you lose it. (Maybe not forever and you may come back even stronger but it is true.) And those scars made it easier to prioritize Setting the Bar High.

And as a consequence of Setting the Bar Higher, regardless if anyone could reach me, I ended up hanging out with some people who, when I Set the Bar Higher, were able to actually reach it. And that experience changed my life forever. I started to have a spark of hope that I could keep Setting the Bar High and find connection and support. So I noticed this little spark and I jumped on it. I started nurturing this fire. I made a commitment to spending time with the people who Set that Bar Higher and what I found out was life-changing.

Those who Set the Bar Higher, will always continue to Set the Bar Higher. They value Growth and Openness to Others.

This means the more You Set the Bar High, the Better Your Life will be.
It also means the Easier it Will be to Have a Higher Set Bar.

When I hang out with these people now, if I slip up a little on Setting the Bar Higher, they give me a hand up. They don't let me stay down.

You will find others who Appreciate a Higher Set Bar or they will find you...
But if You Set it Low, You're Harder to Find.

The Moral of My Story:
Set the Bar Higher, and Your Life will Always Grow and Expand.
Set it Low and Your Life Begins to Fade Away.

Don't Give Up.
It Always Gets Better.
Even if at first, it's worse.

Just Strive for a Higher Bar.


Comments

BALANCE = SUCCESS, Balance Your Sh!t Now

9/25/2018

Comments

 
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I'm gonna be straight with you. If you take EXTREME actions - or in-action, your results in life are going to be EXTREME.
Example #1: You don't exercise at all.

Result: You become unhealthy, overweight, more prone to sickness and disease.

EXTREME


Example #2: You work all day, every day.

Result: You make a ton of money.

EXTREME

Extreme Action = Extreme Result.
Starting to see it? Good!

Neglect


Now let's talk about Neglect.

Definition: Neglect;
Fail to care for properly.

If you neglect one area of your life, it will leech into the others.
NO EXCEPTIONS.


Neglect is a side-effect of taking an Extreme action.


How?
Back to the First Example!
Example #2: You work all day, every day.

Result: You make a ton of money.

- BUT ALSO -
You Neglect (Sacrifice) another area of your life to do this. In this case, Mental/Physical/Emotional or even Spiritual Health.

Balancing Your Shit


This is where balance comes in. You want success in your life? You need to start taking care of each area of your life.

Life Success = All Areas of Importance in Your Life being Successful.

Check out the "P.I.E." Chart Below to see all the Areas.
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Click to Enlarge
And here's the thing, even if you just want to be successful in one area, let's say Physical Health, you need the others to make it possible. All of these areas are connected and a part of a whole. If one is neglected it limits the capabilities of success in the others.
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If you want Good Health

You need Relaxation to Re-Energize/Repair, Recreation to De-Stress, Relationships to Support You When You Fail, Passion to Keep Motivated, Spirituality to Find Yourself when in Doubt, Growth to Learn Better Ways, and Abundance to Experience All of the Above!


If any one of these is missing it makes it harder to fulfill any of them.

All Areas Tie into Each Other.
They are just a Piece of the Pie, no?

They Need Each Other to be Successful.
This is the importance of getting your shit in balance.

And not just some of your shit.

ALL OF YOUR SHIT

Work on improving ALL AREAS of your life and taking care of them.
This brings you Success!

COMPLETE SUCCESS!
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One Last Thought


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Without all the pieces to the Computer: The Graphics Card, the Sound Card, the CPU, the Keyboard, Mouse, Monitor...  The Computer's Capabilities would be Severely Limited.

Success in Providing as a Computer would be minimal, no?


The Same is True for Your Life, as a Whole.

If you work on your Physical Health, your Mental Health will Improve. If your Mental Health Improves, Your Emotional Health Improves. Better Emotional Health means Better Relationships. Better Relationships means Better Recreational Time. Better Recreational Time means Better Relaxation Time, Better Relaxation Time means More Energy for Passion and Pursuing Purpose and Finding an Aligned Career.

That leads to Abundance...?

No my friends.

THAT

IS

ABUNDANCE

Where Do I Start?


It doesn't matter. They all lead to improvement in each other. Thus, my highest suggestion would be to start where it feels the best. Which area excites you the most to improve upon? Go for that one, it'll make the journey easier and more fun.

And that's the point of it all.

Enjoying the Journey of Creating and Living a Successful Life.

Much Love my friends,
Shou

Like the Topics on the Blog?
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Read Chapter 1: The New Member
Comments
    Picture

    Shou Aria

    The Books of Eden are all about Balance & Harmony. I want to expand upon this directly and Show You How to Apply this Practically in your own life.

    Welcome to
    The Balance Blog!


    More Articles
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    Read Book 1: Prithivi Now!

    Read Now!
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